“It is very hard on the children, they have to miss out on so many things”

Pauline Akwa is one of many thousands of asylum seekers and immigrant people forced into poverty and degradation by Britain's cruel and inhumane immigration rules. Here, Pauline tells her story of her struggle to survive in London.

I am a single mother from West Africa with two children, fighting for the right to stay in Britain with help from Black Women for Wages for Housework. I came to Britain in 1988 with my family. The Home Office deported my husband and I've been alone since then. I was raped and abused by my father for many years and, when I threatened to report him, he reported me as an "impostor". Now the Home Office has classified me as an "illegal entrant".

I am not allowed to claim benefits or do paid work. At first I had no money except £24 Child Benefit. I survived by borrowing from friends and neighbours. When I went to Social Services for help, they turned me down. After many months I got a hardship payment of £28 per week; they say it's for the children, not for me. I would go to the market with £5 to feed my family for the week, constantly shopping around to make cheap meals. Sometimes I wouldn't eat to make the food go further. I wash our clothes three times a week by hand because I can't afford a washing machine, or the laundrette. I'm overworked, exhausted, and need many basic things, but can't afford them. We live in one room to keep the bills down. My Housing Benefit was cut, so massive debts built up.

It is very hard on the children, they have to miss out on many things. I can't afford to take them anywhere except to see family or friends, and I often do this so they won't see me desperate and depressed. Protecting the children is my first priority, but the Home Office doesn't consider the work and stress for mothers like me, struggling to raise their children with no money.

My life has been desperately affected. I was furious at being accused of fraud, humiliated, and exhausted from losing sleep through constant worry. I felt suicidal. My solicitor referred me to Black Women's Rape Action Project who interviewed me and wrote a report about the violence I'd suffered. That report has now gone to the Home Office to support my claim for Exceptional Leave to Remain.
After much pressure, Social Services re-assessed my case, doubled the hardship payment and referred me to get second hand clothes and household items. My money is being paid on time now; before sometimes I waited for hours, or was told to come back the next day. I was so devastated by being made illegal overnight and coping with the problems it caused, that I was in no position to find out what I was entitled to, or to appeal when they refused me money. The new asylum laws encourage this -- how many other mothers like me are suffering and being denied benefits and resources?

The most important thing is not to feel alone. Relatives and friends helped a lot; I would not have survived without them. Counselling from BWRAP helped me get my confidence back, which I'd lost for so many years.

We women are used as slaves, trapped in the home, prevented from seeing what is going on outside. When we need a safe place to escape from violence, the Home Office makes it very hard for us. Children need protection too, and society must stand up for that.

Those of us who are immigrants, refugees or seeking asylum, want to show the world how much work we do, that we have a right to be here and not to be discriminated against and forced into poverty. We can't go back to the old days, we must all go forward together.Pauline Akwa